


Every step of the way

by danielshands



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Help, M/M, Mental Illness, Schizophrenia, confort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 01:12:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danielshands/pseuds/danielshands
Summary: Dan has schizophrenia and Phil tell him it's okay.





	Every step of the way

For as long as Dan could remember he had always had people, or felt as if, watching him. He never felt like someone wasn't there, wasn't watching him. He hated not having friends and being alone but felt like he was watched. He didn't say anything to anyone because no one likes him as it it, he didn't want to worsen the issue. 

Due to the fact that Dan has no friends, he stayed mostly in his room. It also helped with the people watching him. Although, Dan thinks it's a bit easier to having a feeling of someone watching him when he's in public and other people are around, instead of no one physical in his room. He became reclusive, and his parents thought it was because he was a teenager. Some of was because he was a teenager but there was always something more. 

When Dan turned 16, a tall man dressed in a dark cloak, who called himself Joseph, came to watch Dan and make sure he did not do anything bad. Joesph said that he could not risk Dan telling secrets to the world. Joesph was from the government and would write down and report anything that Dan did. Personally, Dan didnt really know what he did wrong and he didn't ever feel like finding out. 

While staying in his room tons, Dan was able to find many different websites and videos to explore. He found websites like Instagram, Tumblr, and especially YouTube. YouTube was his absolute favorite and he would often dream of making videos about his life, of course, Joseph would never accept that. 

Even though he wasn't allowed to make videos, it didn't mean that he couldn't become completely immersed into the world. He would watch funny joke videos, cute animals videos, and his all time favorite youtuber, amazingphil. 

Amazingphil had similar hair to him, had the prettiest blue eyes, was always joking around and telling about his life. Within a matter of weeks, Dan become completely obsessed with him. He would almost say in love but a lady that would visit Dan, alongside Joseph, would tell him that gay people were wrong, and that if he was gay he would have to be murdered. Dan had the teenage angst vibe but he definitely did not want to be murdered. 

He continued to watch Phil, despite the elderly ladies hatred towards Phil. Dan would even try to message him through other websites he had found, like Twitter and Tumblr. He didn't think Phil noticed, or cared, but he did. One morning Dan woke up with a message in inbox from Phil, saying 'i see you comment a lot on my videos. So what's up?' 

Dan could not contain his excitement when he read the messaged. He strategically responded back, trying to sound the most interesting to make Phil stay interested in him. It work, as Phil did stay talking to him, but what Dan didnt calculate is how Joseph would tell him to stop, stop corresponding to Phil. He didn't listen, so Joseph brought another government agent over to watch him.

This government agents name was Scythe and he carried two guns with him wherever he went. He didn't talk much but Dan knew that he would not hesitate to kill Dan if given the opportunity.

This was a very scary thing because Dan was just talking to someone he admired so much. He thought about it a few times, not talking to Phil anymore, but he didn't want to hurt Phil. 

Dan and Phil became super close. They started skyping all the time and Phil one day told him he loved him. Dan looked down, tears coming out. Dan adored Phil, cared for Phil, wanted Phil, but he couldn't love him. He would be killed if he was to. 

Despite Dan not saying 'i love you', their relationship still went on. They met in real life and spent weeks together but all of that wouldn't top the feeling Dan had when Phil asked him to move in with him. 

It wasn't like a proposal but it might as well been. Dan remembered every detail. It was a Friday, they were on Skype, and Phil seemed extra nervous. He told him about his day but something seemed off about it. Dan was skeptical and asked, "what's wrong? Are you okay?" 

Phil just smiled but played with his fingers, "I wanted to know if you maybe wanted to move in with me.?" 

Phil seemed anxious about it but Dan just smiled, teeth and all. 

-

They moved in together soon after. Everything was going well and it went well for months. Phil never suspected a thing, even when he heard him talk to himself and pace around his room. 

The idea that everything was fine and dandy went away one evening. Dan hadn't come out of his room once and when Phil went to check on him, he saw dan in the corner of his room violent shaking and crying. 

Phil touched Dan, since he doubt he heeard him come in, and Dan jumped. He looked at Phil and tried to down play his symptoms.

"Phil sorry I didn't see you there. Was I bothering you? I can be more quiet if you need.", Dan spoke like a different person, completely detached from his body.

This event scared Phil but maybe he was homesick or sad or something along those lines, he couldn't imagine that this would be a common occurrence. 

Dan and Phil would be sitting on the couch, supposedly watching a tv show together, but Phil saw how Dan stared at the wall and the table the whole time. He saw that sometimes he would pull phil closer or dig his nails into his own skin a bit too hard.

Phil also noticed how Dan seemed to never sleep. He always had dark bags under his eyes and couldn't concentrate on anything. 

One day, Phil came home to find Dan scream to someone in the hallway, although, no one was there. He asked Dan about it and he screamed at Phil how he would understand, then locked hiself in his room. 

Phil was becoming more and more scared. He loved Dan so so much but Dan looked as if he had gone off the rails.

-

"Dan, you know I love you right?" Dan looked up from the book he was reading with fear in his eyes.

"What?" Dan looked at Phil with fear and a bit of sadness.

Phil continued, "I would never do anything to hurt you, or anger you, or put you in any sort of danger but Dan, I say this honestly, you need help."

Dan closed his book with a loud bang and stood up. "What are you on about? I don't need help. I am perfectly fine." Dan was yelling now. 

"Dan please listen to me. Maybe you are fine, perfectly fine, but I see how you don't watch the tv anymore and how you're not always there and how you start becoming distant. So maybe you are perfectly fine, but I just want you to get checked out. Please Dan. For me."

Dan looked like he was going to say something bit Phil could see the guilt across his face. 

-

Dan went to the hospital and they diagnosed him with severe schizophrenia. Dan didnt want to believe it. He was in denial. 

The moment he walked through his apartment door, he broke down. Phil held on to him and told him that it was okay. That they could fight this illness, and he would be there to help every step of the way.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a disclaimer: I do not have schizophrenia. So, what I wrote could be wrong or inaccurate and if it is please tell me so I can change it. 
> 
> Again, I think I rushed the ending and didn't like the ending that much but the actual fic I think was pretty good.
> 
> Please leave me comments telling me how I did and if you want me to write something!
> 
> Love you, X.


End file.
